I feel like my life is being written
By a higher version of me
Years down the road
In a higher level of society
Showing me the path
And for a second I just listen
I don’t know how to say this
I’m staying in my home
Rented to me by my future self
Telling me to spend my past wealth
As my past self
Wonders why we don’t send help
The future is in the past
The present will never last
Humanity will always try to race to the end
Trying our best to never pretend
That we’re not all counting down
Until someone else drops the crown
We’re all just looking for an excuse
Someone who refuses to stand
Under, ‘neath the noose
Re-connect my brain to my heart
Black and tarred from playing the part
Of the 49th version of Iron Man
I’ve never had anything of which to aspire
Yet, when I’m faced with expectations
I perspire
As my brain circles through
Six possibilities
Trying to find the words that echo higher
We’re all just trying to narrow our focus
Why can’t my future self
Tell my past self
Everything I presently know?
They tell me that’s not how it goes
This is Doctor Strange not Hocus Pocus
My third eye is buried
Beneath a furrowed brow
When they tell me to envision my future path
I don’t even know how
To relax my face and open my air waves
And keep my eyes from getting hurried
Some grow learning the urge
To physically place their eyes
In front of their mouths
Almost subconsciously knowing
To look out at the world
Before they think to speak
I’ve learned in life to relax my head
Stop living within my existential dread
Look out into the world and wonder
What is this low voice sounding of thunder
Rumbling at the front of my face
Having everyone rushing to get in their place?
I don’t even know my own power
Six-foot-four, two forty pounds
(After laying on the floor for an hour)
I’m not used to people reacting to my smile
In my defense
It has been awhile
Everyone wows when lighting crashes
Some people cover their ears
While others run from the flashes
I sit outside in a metal chair
Underneath a tree that’s been struck before
With static running through my hair
The only time I get up to go inside
Is when it’s time to re-up my high
You can spend your entire life
Watching the future go by
Waiting on a sign
That you’re eventually going to die
Today I physically turned 40
Spending my past wealth
On advice from my future self
Where I know that I’m still alive
Living in my future home
Which I’ve so far yet to buy
Tomorrow morning I’ll begin to write
Everything learned by my past self
With present might
Continuing until I collapse
In the future, I might
Live forever, if what I say is right
But today I’m left
With the experience of my last 40 years
Knowing the future is free of fears
My past self was the one who sent me here
And my future self
Is yelling that it’s time I finally grab the wheel
-Tim Williams mk. 40, 8/29/2023
SONG OF THE DAY
The world is spinning too fast
I’m buying lead Nike shoes
To keep myself tethered
To the days I’ve tried to lose
My mama said to slow down
You must make your own shoes
Stop dancing to the music
Of Gorillaz in a happy mood
– 2-D
Keeping my groove on…
+ postsTim is the owner, producer, editor, and lead writer of PiratesProspects.com. He has been running Pirates Prospects since 2009, becoming the first new media reporter and outlet covering the Pirates at the MLB level in 2011 and 2012. His work can also be found in Baseball America, where he has been a contributor since 2014 and the Pirates' correspondent since 2019.
I guess Tim is still celebrating his 40th. Maybe he will come back to the site before the year ends along with the site itself.
Tim had every right to use the domain piratesprospects.com as his personal diary and therapy board. He owns it. Just because you stop reading it doesn’t mean his journal will end.
He could have done that on any domain, of course, and cross linked here while others made him a bunch of money down by all the real work but it’s his and he didn’t wanna do that.
This has actually just been a migraine study for years.
Oohh – and a pretty good one at that!
Opposite of celebrating. I just drove from VA to FL yesterday.
Happy birthday Tim! Hope your 40th goes better than mine – I went to a day game where Roansy got shelled & Bucs got pummeled, then went to my own game & went 0-3 with 3 K’s! Bruuuutall 40th!
Happy birthday Tim. It’s time to snap out of it. Skenes is taking us to the World Series, time to start enjoying life again,
Thank you all for the birthday wishes!
Happy birthday, Tim. I hope you enjoy your special day.
Happy belated birthday, Tim. Welcome to the club.
You’ve had one hell of a run here at PP and nobody can ever take that away from you.
Good luck in your future endeavors! Whatever that is, you’ll be successful.
You nailed it catch22, 👍
Deep thoughts by Jack Handey…
Happy Birthday Mr. Williams!
Happy birthday Tim.
Sir, this is a Wendys
This is my world. Get used to it. 😀
It seems I was here for WTM and Dreker and Anthony so I just canceled my sub renew for next year and will leave it then!
This is my world too, and the cool thing is we are not alone just apart so we can have separate lives. Enjoy your special day. I’m glad you’re in my world.
Happy Birthday Tim!
40 is a great place to be….you have the experience and wisdom now and can go where you want to.
Here are some lessons learned from an old guy. Reinventing ourselves is not the answer. We have to get comfortable with ourselves first. How do we do that? Part is to eliminate negativity. Receiving negative inputs regarding the world, the news, politics, social issues, etc also causes us to believe that we have no control and leaves us hopeless and hapless. Not feeling like you did 10 years ago? Maybe go get a physical. (hopefully you have health insurance.) See if there are medical reasons that you are feeling blah or just lacking energy. I overlooked that for a long time to later be diagnosed with Heart disease and Type 2 Diabetes. That was in my mid 50s. I was shocked at how much younger and energetic that I felt with those problems solved. Now it’s stage 4 prostate cancer. Even though that I was on top of it, something went askew in the treatments or maybe early diagnosis that allowed it to metastasize. This has reinforced my beliefs about the negative inputs. My treatment regiment has some disturbing side effects that has diminished my vitality and I can’t imagine dealing with negativity in addition. I’m still working 35-40 hours weekly. It gives me a purpose and relives my anxiety. Being around others that I care about is helpful as well. Hobbies are great. I workout 3-5 times weekly and usually feel better physically and mentally when I am able to go. Introspection is good but don’t get tied up in it for long periods of time. I think that we tend to focus on the bad instead of the good. Hope you have a great birthday. Always feel free to write me at tony.ventimiglio@sbcglobal.net if you need a friendly person as a sounding board. I’ll be happy to provide my phone number, just not publicly.
I like this guy. Seems like a good man
I used to work with terminal cancer patients. Those that feared & worried always passed. A surprising number of those that didn’t fear, were super positive, that knew they would get better – did.
In a 14 month period I’ve lost my wife to fast moving metastatic cancer, my mother to dementia, my business partner to a sudden heart attack, and my main investor to c-diff. Literally the four people at the top of the list of who I spent time with every day. There is no way to rationally explain these four deaths. I have found the only way to keep my mind from going dark is to engage with people as much as possible, work out every day, and throw myself at projects. But the shock of loss will never go away.
I’m praying for you ironmike
That’s a ton of loss to process. You’re so strong. Keep moving ahead. You seem to be doing as well as anyone could ever expect.
I thank you and Rob for your thoughts.
That’s rough as hell man. I hope you can find the intentionality to create anew in your personal life.
Thanks for your kind words. I probably won’t get better but I can certainly manage it for quite awhile. I’m nearing 4 years now. My medications are rather new on the market and have it in check. Sometimes I lack energy, but, most of the time I am productive. Prostate cancer is a tricky one. There is no remission once it’s metastasized but it can be managed for 10+ years. New treatments are always being released. Its’ pretty amazing. Hopefully thre is a full cure in my lifetime.
Glad to hear you’ve got options. Medicine is changing fast.
Should have proofed better before posting. My apologies.
Happy Birthday Tim👍